Good day, beloved and welcome to today’s #ThrowBackThursday post. This is the sequel to last week’s #TBT, How To Stay Successfully Married To A Nigerian Man, and if you missed it, just visit http://www.blogaces.wordpress.com and click on the ‘Thursday’ button to take you to previous #TBT posts. It’s been a ride.
So without further ado, I bring you the sequel which was also published four years ago. Enoy:
“Hey, peeps! Well, I promised this so here I am. I told you I’d be writing a sequel to my last blogpost and for as many as are reading this and that haven’t read the prequel, this is the link…
I deemed it unnecessary to add ‘Nigerian’ to the title as the physiology of women are the same wherever you go but I had to stay consistent with the titling and then, there’s no harm done.
Here are the tips to staying successfully married to a ‘Naija’ woman:
The Sex : Usually, I would save this for last but based on the feedback I got from my previous post, I think I’ll do well to address the issue now with a view to addressing some concerns some ladies expressed. As a man, you have to keep your woman Satisfied. If you have to do exercises or go on a diet to get that done, please do. After a session, if she’s not satisfied, then you have to get back to it until she kneels down in front of you to thank you for the way you ‘handled her.’ I advised the wives to take their husbands to heaven… But you guys must also do the same if you know what I mean.
One other issue I must address here is that the woman is your WIFE not your sex toy. I’m all for wives satisfying their husbands however the men want but don’t be a beast about it. Don’t ask your wife to hang upside down from the ceiling or tie her to the oven or strap her with whips and stuff in the name of sex style (unless she asks for it anyway). Don’t forget, if you treat your wife like a bitch, then you’ve acted like a dog and she’ll give you puppies as kids. A word as they say…
Be The Man: You know, I like my church very much. My pastor once said and I quote: “the moment you shout ‘I AM THE MAN IN THIS HOUSE!’ then your being ‘THE MAN’ is in question”
Your being the man is not a declaration, it is an action. An act. You have to show it.
Be responsible. Go out & work so you can pay bills!
A man will live off his wife and he’ll still be shouting “I’m the man of this house…”
Shut your eternal trap!!! Being the man isn’t cos you got a sausage and two eggs between your legs, it’s about having the balls to take responsibility… To take charge. I don’t care if your wife earns treble what you earn (the cost of making their hair, shoes, bags and their jewelry is more than ten times what you spend on your hair, shoes and jewelry anyway). Take care of the bills… Take care of her and the kids. Make them feel secure. Don’t be the first to scream and jump on the couch when a rat scurries past, HELL, you’re not even allowed to scream and jump at the same time with your wife. I don’t care if you have the courage of Scooby-doo and Shaggy… Make a front! Let them know you have the situation in control. Lose those eggs and grow some Balls! Be the man!
Respect Your Woman: In this part of the world, men are wont to disrespect their women. African mentality states that all respects from all quarters should be channeled towards the men. Wrong! Like 9ce sang, “Respect is reciprocal, ori o j’ori…” You’ve got to understand that if you must earn your wife’s respect, you must stop trash-talking her in front of your friends or insulting her in front of your family or even the kids. She’s not your kid, she’s your WIFE for God’s sake!!! Treat her like diamonds. Seek her opinion, trust her judgments. I’ve learnt that women have this intuition that guys would kill for and still not get. Learn to respect your woman, she’ll make your life heaven for it.
Be Present: Some guys ehn… (Shaking my head). We understand you have to work and to close that deal but once you’re home, BE HOME!!! There’re so many guys (including this writer) that have perfected the art of logging off on their women. When the women are talking, we stare and nod like we get what they’re saying whereas, in our mind we’re trying to work out the formation Manutd would play against Wigan on Saturday or why the hell Wenger sold Van Persie to a great rival or how we’re gonna have to fire that secretary that didn’t submit the report on time. No! For that 2 or 3hrs she’ll be talking non-stop, learn to listen attentively to her and understand the way she feels. You don’t have to always give advice. Most times, all they need is the open ears. It’s not too much to ask, is it?
Don’t Be Rigid… Innovate: Don’t hold too fast to your ideas and especially your routines. Be flexible. Be creative in the use of your time and your energy. They’re some men that their wives can tell where and what they’ll be doing by 2.55 pm on a Wednesday afternoon. That’s boring, dude. Whatever you do, don’t bore your wife. Find time and space to go pick a hairstyle from a magazine for your wife in a Salon. Even if you’re a Professor or a Herbalist, find time to accompany her to the antenatal clinic.
Fix her into your schedule. Very important.
Excitement! Remember?: If you’ve been following my blogposts from the outset (www.blogaces.wordpress.com), there was one I titled “The Complication called Women” and it had 2 parts. I strongly recommend you go read it. You know what your wife enjoys doing (You were once after her, you know) Make sure you find time to indulge her. Remember how you used to write her or text her love notes, take her out on shopping trips or even silly things like climbing the tree in her yard to serenade her… Re-live those moments with her. Don’t say because she now has 3 kids, she no get anywhere wey she fit go. Oh no! Enjoy the trips of toasting her again and again. Challenge yourself to finding new ways to take her breath away. Never let her find you predictable. Keep her guessing. Find a flimsy reason to quarrel with her in the morning, then turn up at her office at noon with a gift and an invitation to lunch. When she expects you to make dinner, call her to meet you downstairs and go clubbing. Call her on your way home from work if there’s anything she needs. That’s what I’m talking about.
Secure Your Woman: Guys, it may look like I’m all out for you but these things need to be said. You have to be proud of your woman. Make her feel secure in the home. Learn to build her and make her what you want her to be. Don’t make her feel inadequate by praising another woman in front of her even if it’s your mother. I stated something in my previous blogpost that wives should learn to tolerate their husband’s family. But listen to me, guys… It’s our duty to draw the line. Your family shouldn’t make it a habit to visit without giving prior notice or your brother will now put his feet on the table and demand for food from her. No way! Lines shouldn’t be crossed but well drawn and defined. She’s your wife and top of your list and she has a mega-say too. Show her you Love her. Buy her gifts at every pretext. Slip Love notes where she’ll be sure to look like her mirror or her make up case. Always look to WOW her. Let her know she’s the most important thing to you.
Communicate… Pray : Always learn to communicate with your wife. I didn’t say ‘talk with your wife’ I said “COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR WIFE.” Don’t just talk for talking sakes, make sure you understand one another. Your wife has a Love Language, learn the language and act on it. Above all, always pray for and with her. It creates an unbreakable bond. You can’t afford to go wrong… Get our homes right and Nigeria won’t go wrong.
I’m an Event Planner so I get to see first-hand the sparkling look in the eyes of couples on their wedding day. Let’s make it last a lifetime.
God bless our homes.”
So that was how I dropped it back then.
On a lighter note, I almost added “Kill your mums.” (laughs) But that would have been too silly even for me.
I’m now wiser than I was four years ago and I could probably add more but not here. Just stay tuned.
Meanwhile, I saw this picture online and who knows who might just find it so useful:
It’s still your guy @blog_aces on twitter. You can start sending your poems, jokes, stories, articles, posts and whatever you want to email@example.com with the title of email: #WishlistWednesday and I’ll publish them every Wednesdays on my blog on “WISHLIST WEDNESDAY.”
Send me emails on firstname.lastname@example.org if you have any comment or contributions on my blog or if you think you’ll need me for any services. (Social Media Content Management and Blogging related, please.)
I respond to every message.
God bless you.