Seeing ‘The One’ too


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Young man imagining his perfect woman


Good morning to today’s table and I’m glad to see you here.

Last week, I started sharing a story with you and I promised that I’d tell the full story this week so I here I am today to fulfil that promise.

If you missed last week’s post, you can kindly click here to keep up.

I really want us all to read this story carefully and be a part of it.

Once again, welcome to Table-for-Two’s Day!

So this guy starts to tell me the story of how he met his wife at the camp during his NYSC. They attended the same fellowship (I’ll leave the name under wraps, please) and their ‘friendship’ was cordial at best. After the one-year service, they all departed for their various homes and of course, he didn’t know where the lady lived or even got close enough to get her phone number. Such close liaision with someone of the opposite sex was strongly frowned upon by his church and as a ‘bro’ deeply entrenched in the tenets, he wasn’t breaking any rules.

So one day while he was seeking the face of God for his life partner (you have to seek before you find, right?) God showed him this same lady he met in camp was to be his wife. So he contacts his church leaders and told them. Since he knew the name of the lady, the leaders ran an extensive search on the church ‘networks’ and finally got to know the lady’s district and parish. They then connected with her pastor and told them that the young lady’s hand was being sought in marriage. IN ORDER WORD’S, YOU TOAST THE BABE BY HAVING YOUR PASTOR TOAST HER PASTOR!

Let me list out as briefly as I can the progression in order to save our time and energy.

– They told her and asked her to go pray.

– If she confirmed, they would arrange for them to meet.

– The brother was forbidden from getting in touch to communicate and state his intention.

– Babe says she’s confirmed and the church leaders arranged a meet.

– Day of the meeting, brother goes to fellowship in sister’s church. After service, they give both room to speak privately to each other. (On the altar of the church in full view of everyone and so no hanky-panky)

– When all was set, they asked both to go seek consent from their respective families. ( A male and female representative of the church would follow them on those trips to serve as eye-witness and give report back to the church on the outcome)

– All this while, the couple are not allowed to hang out together or even see each other where the church leaders or members are not present.

– When the family gives consent, the church now allocates a church family’s house where the couple are supposed to meet whenever it’s available to discuss their future plans. Of course the family had to be home.

– When all that was set, a date had to be fixed for the big day. But the guy’s house had to be inspected to be sure it’s good enough for a young couple to live in.

– For the wedding, need I say the wedding dress had to be inspected to be sure there are no ‘Revelations’ apart from the one in the bible? Or that the guy’s suit was to be inspected to ensure there was no pencil trousers or any funny ‘style’ but the conventional suit consisting a coat and matching trousers with maybe a baggy shirt. In fact, just get a space suit and dye it black and wear a tie.

– I didn’t need to ask if he kissed the bride on the wedding day. I am sure what the answer would be.

All-in-all, like I said last week, it took this guy two years from the day God showed him his wife to the day he married her. Personally, I wonder if I can wait that long.

Maybe I’m missing something here but does courtship have to be this strenuous or packed with all these protocol?
Do the couples really know each other before they get married? Is there a place for being romantic in a relationship?
Does this kind of ‘holy’ courtship automatically guarantee a happy home like the ‘bro’ preached to me and would have me believe?

For all of you married ones, would you have married the lady you married if you had to go through this protocol?

Let’s discuss this. We might all learn a thing or two. I will be responding to EVERY comment.




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12 thoughts on “Seeing ‘The One’ too

  1. Never would have worked for me. This is not courtship and I dont believe it is biblical in any way. Even Boaz and Ruth in the bible had more interaction than the couple in this post.


  2. I like ds kin courtship biko no need to get emotionally exhausted. Every thing mechanical and in d end free and guiltless kpokus. Biko warris the name of d church…make them organize my own package for me abeg. How many days fasting and prayer is required to achieve the said vision?



    1. Hehehe… Quincy. You were scaring me until I read the last part of your comment. Then that ‘guiltless’ kpokus part really made me laugh. Hehehe… Not sure it’ll be fun. Thanks for the comment.


  3. Ace..i am shaking my head and bumbum for you….why can’t you wait that long ehnn!!!!! Did 1 of your fore fathers not work for his father in law for 7years? (Or was it 14 years now…anyway you get the picture) just so he could marry the man’s daughter….shaking my head for you ace…anyway sha…me i hv waited on a lady for 6 years before..and you know what? It was damn foolish of me..6 years of my life wasted just like that….this is the 21st century…time didnt dey for all of that


    1. See ehn, Wole. The waiting was besides the point. Na all the time and protocol involved within that period trip me. You’re not allowed to talk to the babe face to face unless in full view of members. And u’re not allowed to even toast the babe. Na your pastor go toast the babe pastor. Hehehe…


      1. the truth is….such protocols do not guarantee anything. It doesn’t guarantee the happiness of the marriage or its longevity but then, the church is simply doing what they think its godly and holy.


  4. You think so? The bro in question would argue dat with you. He would tell you that’s where the crisis in marriage starts from. All these things we do in the name of being romantic. But you’re right. The church is doing what it has to do.


  5. Abeg, who protocol don epp biko?…na protocol we go chop for the marriage? After all the protocols….pastor go move in with una? Abi na d members wey una bin dey dier full view wen una 2 dey gist….as long as dose protocols were made by man..there is no guarantee…these protocols are self inflicted cos if you look at Christian history, at no time were such protocols in effect..i understand the need to ensure the smooth progress of such a relationship, but Christians need to realize that at some point, the couple involved need to be just that…a couple…just both of them


    1. Spoken like a true onisekuse. Lmao!!! Choi! See this guy. You want free access to kpokus. Couple alone. What do you wanna be doing alone with the babe, biko? Don’t tell me prayer o! Cos dat young guy down dere doesn’t know how to pray o. Hehehe…


  6. Ace ya not serious at all lmaoo….no be even kpokus matter…what i meant was dat, after all is said and done with all the protocols…will they not be left alone when they are married? At that time, if there happens to be issues, the church will leave you to carry cross alone….so what was the essence of all the protocols, if afterwards them no go send una again…when we are born on this earth, we have a few days and ’em days is filled with trouble….why do we want to add to that trouble again biko ehnn…why?? The ‘unbelievers’ do less stress and yet their marriages last equally if not longer sef than most Christian marriages with all the protocols….if it was by protocols..if being holy was smefin we cud achieve or afford, Jesus wouldn’t have had to make the trip to calvary….its not by works that we are made holy #selah


    1. You just made a valid point there. After all said and done, both parties would hav to go deal with the things that make dem unique. That is wen d lady will find out the man snores and the man finds out the lady is a slob. Then they also hav to face the uniqueness of each other’s family. I feel u. Thank you for the comment.


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