#TBT – Don’t Try This At Home!

On my #ThrowBackThursday post for today, I present you a tale I told four years ago. Of course I was still cutting my teeth so pardon every error in advance.



“Mr Edoho had no time for sissies and weaklings. So when his wife gave him twin boys five years ago, they were already sentenced to a life of toughness.

He didn’t let his boys play with girls. He never bought them dolls but toy-guns. He didn’t believe in his boys coming home to report when fellow students beat them in school. They fight back.
His wife always tried to tell him to take it easy with the kids but he argued that it wasn’t an option.
“If my own father had been easy on me, I might have been a hopeless loser by now” he would always argue.

Mrs Edoho would just walk away from her Lawyer husband. When he was younger, he always wanted to be a soldier but he was too sluggish & weak to make Military school. She knew it haunted him.

His favorite past time with them was watching wrestling. He had a lifetime collection of wrestling DVDs. He would scream with the boys when there was a WWF Smackdown while the wife just shook her head in resignation.

But all that would change…

On that fateful day, Mr Edoho came back from work crazily exhausted. The 5 year old twins were just rounding off their homework. As soon as they saw their dad, they screamed they wanted to watch wrestling. He was too tired to oblige so he slotted in one of the Summer-Slam collections he had and the twins sat to watch. He went to sit at the dining table to wait for his meal so he could eat, shower and go to bed. He didn’t know when he slept off with his head hanging backwards and his mouth open as he snored softly.

Now the boys were real excited as Randy Orton leapt from the top rope buckle and delivered an elbow smash to a semi-conscious opponent.

They wanted to call their dad to see the move when they saw their dozing dad with the same expression as the wrestler Randy Orton just elbow-smashed. With a mischievous grin on their faces, they abandoned the TV and both went to climb on the top of the settee closest to the dining chair their dad was seated…

Mr Edoho was dreaming he was in heaven… At the pearly gates to be exact. Somehow, it wasn’t Saint Peter at the gate but the husband of the lady he cheated on Mrs Albert with. He knew he had no chance to make heaven and since the violent taketh it by force, he proceeded to force himself in. As he pulled at the gate, the gate now started falling on him! He couldn’t run fast enough and as the gate fell on him, he heard a SNAP and he felt a pain too unbearable to be a dream…

When he opened his eyes, he realized he was face up on the floor with a crushing pain on his neck. Then he looked up to see Peter, one of his twin sons, jumping off the sofa with his elbow aimed straight for his neck. He wanted to shout at the boy but he realized he couldn’t utter a sound. Worse still, he realized he couldn’t move a muscle to dodge the blow. The last thing he remembered as he felt a convulsive pain wrack his body was Paul, the other twin, climbing the chair for another attempt and the wife stepping out of the kitchen…

It’s been two months and Mr Edoho still has the caste well set on his neck but you won’t find a Wrestling DVD anywhere. A local TV station in Lagos that shows Wrestling is now a Taboo in the house.


Don’t try this at home.”


Photo by nerditis.com




It’s still your guy @blog_aces on twitter. You can start sending your poems, jokes, stories, articles, posts and whatever you want to aceaishida@gmail.com and I’ll publish them every Wednesdays on my blog on “WISHLIST WEDNESDAY.”

Send me emails on aceaishida@gmail.com if you have any comment or contributions on my blog or if you think you’ll need me for any services. (Social Media Content Management and Blogging related, please. :D)

God bless you.


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