HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY TO YOU as well as a Happy New Month.
The last seven days have been filled with just three working ones and a lot of people just love that.
Nigeria is 55!
55 years of gaining freedom from the British and as I pondered over this, a different kind of freedom was all I could think about and that’s what you’ll be reading about today.
The battle between Mothers-in-law and Daughters-in-law has been well documented or maybe not. To be honest, I really can’t remember when and where it started but what I do know is that it’s getting fiercer.
I really can’t remember a story of any feud between a mother-in-law and her daughter-in-law in the bible, just this one where there was some mad love for the elderly woman by the younger one and I’m talking about Naomi and Ruth.
Kindly refer me to such a feud if you know one, please.
So am I to assume that this feud is one of the side-effects of women emancipation and empowerment?
Could it be the fact that now that women are understanding their roles in the homes, their innate territorial tendencies are brought to the fore and they now seek to guard their own nuclear family from the intrusion of ALL external factors?
(ALL is highlighted to mean their husbands’ mothers)
I really can’t say.
What I can say is this and I’ve said it before that we’re now in a generation where mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law do not see eye to eye.
Yes, I said it.
There are so many ladies out there that have sworn that they’ll never marry or even date a man whose mum is still alive.
Now I find this funny though because every lady wants to have a son. Now imagine your son wanting to get married and the woman he brings home has such ‘delicious’ wish for your well-being. Do these ladies even think that forward? You too will become a mother-in-law fa!
I find it interesting that a mother will hassle her son to bring a wife and as soon as wedding preparation starts, the two women can’t stand themselves anymore.
What really is the cause of this feud? I have a theory. Women crave attention and they want to be at the center of their men’s world and I’m not talking their husbands alone but also their sons.
Years of being physically, emotionally, mentally, physiologically (and other ‘-allies’) attached to their sons leaves them with this entitlement mentality that they should always have the ears and hearts of their sons.
Therein lies the problem.
Those are exactly what the wives too want.
So what happens next is a clash for domination.
I really wish we guys could just sit back and enjoy the show but men are always caught in the crossfire.
The problem is that I believe most times, the men don’t help half as much. Other times, the men only make things worse…
I heard a story the other day that truly disturbed me. A lady lamented to a friend that her mother-in-law slapped her in her own matrimonial home.
Yes, you read right. Not ‘lapped’ her… The woman SLAPPED her.
Allow me to pause here and take a sip of water.
Now, a lot of people will say that she must have done something to annoy the older woman.
To be honest, if that slap wasn’t inspired of the holy spirit during a deliverance exercise, the mother-in-law HAD/HAS NO RIGHT to slap a woman in her own matrimonial home even if it’s the son’s wife. The only caveat is if she dishes out such treatment to the son too in his matrimonial home.
But the point is this; Let’s all learn to understand and respect the SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE.
Daughters-in-Law: Respect your Mother-in-Law like you’d respect your own mother. As a matter of fact, respect her more than your own mother sef. Honour and Love her and never wish her dead. I could advise you to because some mothers-in-law are a pain but there’s this small issue of KARMA…
Mothers-in-Law: Please and please, you have raised your son and he’ll never forget. Let him live his own life. Respect his wife and Love her like your own daughter because she is. She’s one with your son so it’s automatic. Don’t share your son with her because more often than not, you will lose. Let her enjoy her home or else your son will never enjoy his.
Son/Husband: Be the man before you even consider marrying. Learn to put your foot down and yank off all mummy’s apron-strings. Respect your mother and your wife will. Disrespect your mother and don’t blame your wife if she does too. Love and Respect your wife and your mum won’t come and slap her in her own matrimonial home. Above all, for the sake of peace in your home and your sanity; let your wife and mother know who comes first in your life and keep it that way.
I don’t know if I’ve spoken well on this issue. I’m sure I’ve missed out on some pointers. What do you guys think? Let me know your thought on this matter. I stand to be corrected.
Kindly share with your friends and let’s have your comments.
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