I wanted to write something about the Orekoya’s missing kids a couple of weeks back but I felt that would be insensitive considering the pains the parents were going through. So I decided to wait till the dust fully settles.
I have to admit that I was among those that felt the children’s parents were very careless to have employed a maid that was dug up online without doing the necessary checks and making sure there was some kind of reference.
I still do.
It’s almost like Granny handing little, red riding-hood to the big bad wolf.
I remember late last year, when my elder sister needed a housemaid urgently, I went online to look and I got some numbers on OLX.
Yep. Same ‘notorious‘ OLX.
I was glad and I told my sister I had gotten a maid and would hook her up. But a couple of days later, I don’t know why this feeling kept tugging at my chest.
I couldn’t explain it.
I called my sister and told her to disregard the housemaid I found. That I wasn’t cool with a housemaid from the blues. If you don’t produce family member(s), then why risk it?
Peeps are evil these days.
So you can imagine how I felt when I heard the Orekoya story. That could have been anyone. I came so close. I was seriously touched.
But now the kids are found, so much have been said and I’ve had arguments with peeps on the merits of getting a housemaid in the first place.
So is it bad to get a housemaid?
I really can’t say it is in all candour.
I actually feel kind of sorry for the parents that employ housemaids.
Let’s be frank, no one grows up planning to get a housemaid when the kids start coming. At least, none that I know.
Every parent wants to be there at all times for and with their kids. (Keyword is ‘Normal’)
So how do housemaids actually come in?
Father is a career man. Leaves home early and comes back late.
Mother is a career woman. Leaves home early and comes back late.
Too much housework to be done and kids need adult company to ensure they don’t endanger themselves.
Can’t say I blame parents.
Everyone seeks fulfillment even if it’s found in a job and everyone seeks financial freedom.
And for the mothers, what’s the point of all that education if you have to throw it in the trash with the diapers?
Besides, you want the best for your kids and the best things in life are not only NOT free, they’re also very expensive so you have to work harder to keep up. So who looks after the kids and takes care of the house?
I really feel sorry for parents.
Then they’re some guys out there that are of the opinion that they won’t let their wives stay with any job that she won’t come home by 4pm. (Interpretation: I want a full-time housewife or a wife that’ll have a shop outside the house.)
I find this amusing.
Firstly, I don’t think it’s a hard and fast rule that it’s the mother that has to spend more time with the kids.
Anyone of the parents can. At least, one should.
Secondly, please make sure your bank account is not only fat and shapeless but also gets continually force-fed before you can make such chauvinist assertion.
Imagine a man earning one hundred grand a month and he orders his wife not to work. That guy deserves to be laughed at in the face. (The caveat is if the wife thinks it’s a good idea not to work so she can take care of the kids and the home.)
I’m assuming they have some huge inheritance somewhere.
So what am I saying?
If you HAVE to get a housemaid, please, make sure the housemaid is well investigated.
Not only that, treat the housemaid like you would your own sister. Educate her, clothe her well and show her Love.
I’m not saying it’ll guarantee she won’t misbehave but chances her showing her love would reduce the chance of your kids being maltreated behind your back.
And for those that have sworn not to get housemaids; when you’re picking a house you plan to move to, don’t pick somewhere close to where you work…
Try to pick a place close to where your parents or your spouse’s parents stay.
‘Never heard this advise before?’
But it’s true. You’ll have someone who is family that’ll help you take care of the kids when you’re at work. Don’t forget the kids love their grannies and vice versa.
Thank me later. *winks*
Now that the Orekoya kids have been found, let’s hope in the same vein, the Chibok girls will be found soon.
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Watch this space.
God bless you real good.