Now that the kids have been found…

I wanted to write something about the Orekoya’s missing kids a couple of weeks back but I felt that would be insensitive considering the pains the parents were going through. So I decided to wait till the dust fully settles.

I have to admit that I was among those that felt the children’s parents were very careless to have employed a maid that was dug up online without doing the necessary checks and making sure there was some kind of reference.

I still do.

It’s almost like Granny handing little, red riding-hood to the big bad wolf.

I remember late last year, when my elder sister needed a housemaid urgently, I went online to look and I got some numbers on OLX.

Yep. Same ‘notorious‘ OLX.

I was glad and I told my sister I had gotten a maid and would hook her up. But a couple of days later, I don’t know why this feeling kept tugging at my chest.

I couldn’t explain it.

I called my sister and told her to disregard the housemaid I found. That I wasn’t cool with a housemaid from the blues. If you don’t produce family member(s), then why risk it?

Peeps are evil these days.

So you can imagine how I felt when I heard the Orekoya story. That could have been anyone. I came so close. I was seriously touched.

But now the kids are found, so much have been said and I’ve had arguments with peeps on the merits of getting a housemaid in the first place.

So is it bad to get a housemaid?

I really can’t say it is in all candour.

I actually feel kind of sorry for the parents that employ housemaids.

Let’s be frank, no one grows up planning to get a housemaid when the kids start coming. At least, none that I know.

Every parent wants to be there at all times for and with their kids. (Keyword is ‘Normal’)

So how do housemaids actually come in?

Father is a career man. Leaves home early and comes back late.
Mother is a career woman. Leaves home early and comes back late.
Too much housework to be done and kids need adult company to ensure they don’t endanger themselves.

Can’t say I blame parents.

Everyone seeks fulfillment even if it’s found in a job and everyone seeks financial freedom.
And for the mothers, what’s the point of all that education if you have to throw it in the trash with the diapers?

Besides, you want the best for your kids and the best things in life are not only NOT free, they’re also very expensive so you have to work harder to keep up. So who looks after the kids and takes care of the house?

I really feel sorry for parents.

Then they’re some guys out there that are of the opinion that they won’t let their wives stay with any job that she won’t come home by 4pm. (Interpretation: I want a full-time housewife or a wife that’ll have a shop outside the house.)

I find this amusing.

Firstly, I don’t think it’s a hard and fast rule that it’s the mother that has to spend more time with the kids.

Anyone of the parents can. At least, one should.

Secondly, please make sure your bank account is not only fat and shapeless but also gets continually force-fed before you can make such chauvinist assertion.

Imagine a man earning one hundred grand a month and he orders his wife not to work. That guy deserves to be laughed at in the face. (The caveat is if the wife thinks it’s a good idea not to work so she can take care of the kids and the home.)

I’m assuming they have some huge inheritance somewhere.

So what am I saying?

If you HAVE to get a housemaid, please, make sure the housemaid is well investigated.

Not only that, treat the housemaid like you would your own sister. Educate her, clothe her well and show her Love.

I’m not saying it’ll guarantee she won’t misbehave but chances her showing her love would reduce the chance of your kids being maltreated behind your back.

And for those that have sworn not to get housemaids; when you’re picking a house you plan to move to, don’t pick somewhere close to where you work…

Shocked?

Try to pick a place close to where your parents or your spouse’s parents stay.

‘Never heard this advise before?’

But it’s true. You’ll have someone who is family that’ll help you take care of the kids when you’re at work. Don’t forget the kids love their grannies and vice versa.

Thank me later. *winks*

———————————————————————————————-

Now that the Orekoya kids have been found, let’s hope in the same vein, the Chibok girls will be found soon.

You can kindly follow me on twitter @blog_aces and request for a followback.

If you enjoyed this post, then kindly visit www.blogaces.wordpress.com for more of my posts.

I’ll hit you with more soon.

Watch this space.

God bless you real good.

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Now that the kids have been found…

  1. Nice one. We discussed this on Monday on Inside Eve. Conclusion, if there are no relatives or reliable crèche around,please do business or something. Both of you can’t bury ur heads in VI and strangers are handling ur kids. Nobody says the woman should be a full housewife. She can do business. Pump same energy into ur own business and watch it grow.
    God help us all ooooo. Ko easy rara

    Like

    1. @ayabatots. You’re very right. That’s why I stated that at least one of the parents should have the flexibility of time to have time for the kids. The most important thing is that the stream of income must be kept flowing. It’s always good to find the right balance. God help us all.

      Like

  2. hmmm..my own thought on the ish is…Honestly, i don’t really blame people for wanting helps around the house. There are various factors that determine the ‘why’. I even tell my friends that i’m going to have an errand maid/man just for going to the market because i hate going to the market(i know i know…im a woman, its my job blah blah but i still hate it)but then…there is even the chance that i might get lazy and tell him or her to do the cooking, and then clean the house(sth i can boldly admit i love doing)…its tempting you see…so eventually i realized i was just playing pranks on myself so I discarded the thought all together.

    Many married peeps i know keep hammering on the fact that marriage is about sacrifice, compromise, mutual support and all that. When my dad insisted my mum wouldnt work until we were old enough to move around by ourselves with little or no supervision despite how frustrating the Nigerian economy was, it didn’t make sense at the time but it did pay off because since dad was never around…we had mum and she raised us, hence we had no need for househelps.

    But then, then and now aint the same. The economy isnt manageable. Everyone don’t just want to be rich, they want to be wealthy. They want to be able to afford all not just for them, but for their kids, their kids’ future, their kid’s kid’s future and so on and so forth. But then, i pose a question…Should the pursuit of wealth and comfort erode the need for parental guidance/upbringing in the life of a child? Which should really be more important?

    Like

    1. Hmmm… @Q. This is the quandary of the modern age. The economy has changed and we have to keep up and secure the future of the kids. But what will be the point if there are no kids. All the same, that’s why I said there has to be balance and it’s only God that can help out here. As I pointed across to a pal, some peeps close at work at 5pm in Lagos and don’t get home till 9pm. That’s 4hrs of quality time that could have been spent with the kids as opposed to living somewhere like Ogbomoso for instance when you’d be home 30mins after leaving work. These things count but God help us all to achieve that balance.

      Like

  3. I like the live close to the grandparents idea.

    That is if you can. if not, a creche can do. instead of live-in maids, you have those who do the 7am-7pm duties. they cook and clean after the kids, but do not live in. and these kind usually comes through a recruitment agency that verifies details. Plus, you have someone to hold responsible.

    Another option, is becoming friends with older women in your religious organisation. I’ve seen this work several times. Just don’t become a burden. Older women at church who have an empty nest (children all grown up and out of the house), may be willing to sit with your kiddos all day for a little fee or in exchange for helping them get groceries, which they pay for, or for some handywork around the house.

    Back to the grandparents’idea, I have seen that work positively and negatively. Why, during a brief stint at LUTH, I once had to take care of a baby with burns. Grandmother felt she was doing the family a great deal, by saving them from the “abiku baby”, when she set the feet of the baby ablaze.

    Such horror.

    Anyways, we all have to be careful, is all.

    With respect to the child kidnapped at church, that was too sad. Used to attend that church and knew the parents pretty well. Security should be beefed up everywhere. The devil ain’t playing supermario with us, its a game of thrones.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s