10 Things APC vs PDP has taught me.

It’s election season again and just like the world cup, it comes once every 4 years so it’s understandably celebrated.
I’m not one to follow all these campaign dramas but thanks to some influence, I decided to pay a measure of attention to the 2015 party campaigns and because I wanted to remain unbiased, I decided to watch both the APC and the PDP campaigns.

These are my 10 take-aways:

1) Politics is truly a dirty game. See men old enough to be my dad and grand-dads involving themselves in name calling, all biting at one another like a pack of hyenas over carcass and basically making fools of themselves over what? You’ll never find this amount of mudslinging anywhere else. There is no depth most of these politicians won’t plunge into just to either have a taste or protect their share of the National cake.

2) If you don’t have Amnesia, don’t even dare venture into politics. You will die of hunger. Not kidding.
Let me use a popular example; FFK.
I’m sure you know who that is. I read a lot of his tweets last year where he slammed GEJ’s government endlessly. Fast forward months later and according to him, this same GEJ government is now the next best thing to Candy Crush. But then, I guess we all know that even one month can be a long time in politics. What changed? He’s not the only one.

3) You need a very thick skin to be a politician. Infact, your skin should be thicker than a kevlar vest to be a politician. Considering how much FFK had maligned GEJ and his government, it’s a wonder he could get FFK to work for him in ANY capacity much less make him the spokesperson of his campaign team. I guess it’s true then that every dog has its day.

4) Buhari’s daughter is FINE!!! Let’s forget all those her ‘shelling’ or murder of English. Let’s forget whether she schools here or abroad…
THAT BABE IS FINE!!!
Buhari doesn’t need to run for presidency to leave a lasting legacy to be honest. Zarah (or whatever her name is) is all the lasting legacy he needs.

5) Dame Patience’s English has improved. Let’s not deny. No beefs. Mama Patience has obviously improved her spoken English. She deserves kudos there.

6) If there are other political parties out there apart from APC and PDP, then those parties don’t seem to have finances to put together a campaign.
I’ve barely heard of any other party. Their squeaks seem to have been drowned out by ‘the two elephants in the room.’

7) When a political statement starts with something like “I will not dignify his/her stupid comments/insults with a response but I will say 1 thing…”
What follows that ‘1 thing’ usually includes at least 15 paragraphs and 2,000 words. In some cases, a book will follow. Case in point, Madam NOI’s rejoinder to Charles Soludo’s post on the state of the economy.

8) To be honest, in the midst of the mudslinging and certificate palaver and all the campaign drama, I’m really yet to hear or read how exactly all these party candidates intend to move the country forward. I’m talking facts and figures.

9) I’ve now learnt not to trust all these our musician and actors. They all have an agenda. It seems the goal of every Nigerian is to escape poverty at all costs and our artistes are on top of that pile. I was really impressed at the amount of artistes that thronged out this year to grab a slice of the National Cake under the guise of running for elective office (even Tony Te-freaking-Tuila). Some have not even affected their street but they now want to sing and act their way into the National Assembly using the popularity their career has gotten them. I’m not saying they don’t have the right to but really, what do they have to offer? What is their REAL motivation?

10) Something Mr. Japheth Omojuwa (@omojuwa) tweeted recently really put best something I’ve been trying to say all along. I’m not quoting him verbatim but I’ll try to come as close as I can. He said that the North have Boko Haram, the East have the Bakassi boys, the South-South have Niger Delta militants and the South-West have Deji Fayose.
Need I say more?

I rest my case.

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