ANDREA: Episode 16.

Co-written by: RebelKween

It was a bright and beautiful Sunday morning and It’s been over three weeks since Eddie’s discharge from the hospital and he was feeling excellent again. His wrist had healed fast and Andrea couldn’t hide her delight at his quick and full recovery. Eddie had claimed the fact he was fully recovered was down to Trevo,a nutritional supplement the good Samaritan that drove him to the hospital after the accident had recommended and gotten for him. “That Trevo product works wonders!” He would always announce to Andrea everyday and she was now getting to believe. It was like Eddie was looking brand new and vibrant each day.

Eddie’s car was a different story though. The front of the car took some serious battering but they were thankful his life was spared. Besides,the insurance cover was still on so he didn’t really have much to worry about.

Sundays were the days where they were all able to fully relax. Even Eddie who was always busy on one programme or the other spent his Sundays just relaxing and when he even had to power on his laptop, he mostly played games on it.
Sam loved to play video games but there was no way he was challenging Eddie to a duel on his Playstation. He actually considered it on a few occasion but he swept away such thoughts as soon as they dropped in.
Andrea on her own did just about anything on Sundays. She cooked, she cleaned, she made her hair, she went to the movies with any of the guys that would take her and of course, she kept up with the Kardashians. She was a huge fan of the show and neither of her husbands could understand what kick she got from the show they considered as fake but they let her indulge herself.
Sunday was a day they all did everything except go to church. They rarely did. Eddie was the biggest culprit. He only showed up in church to usher in the New Year. On other Sundays in the year, he couldn’t be bothered. Andrea showed up in church when the mood moved her or when the day promises to be boring enough. Way she saw it, God rested on the 7th day after all his work so why shouldn’t she after all her work? Or wasn’t that what she was thought in Sunday school when she was a kid? Well, that practically summed it up.
The Irony of it all was that Sam, who one would think was allergic to the four walls of a church, made sure he showed up in church at least once a month and he had actually attended service the Sunday before. He grew up in a strong christian family but along the road of life, he took a lot of wrong turns but he still clung to a bit of his roots. He goes to a big church some ten minutes drive from home whenever he can to enjoy the service. A wonderful environment, comfortable church, powerful service and not forgetting the lovely ladies that thronged the place were the treats he usually got from attending. He loved the place and he kept promising himself he’ll step up his commitment to the church pretty soon.

Senami had already left for church as was her custom. She never missed Sunday and midweek services at a church she attended nearby. She usually left home by 7am on Sundays because she was in the Ushering department so by the time Andrea and her husbands settled in the sitting room that morning around 8:22am they knew they would be getting all they needed themselves.
Senami wasn’t due back till after noon.

Sam was seated on the big sofa idling on his computer. Andrea sat on a sofa adjacent to him filing her nails with her manicure set well arranged on the table. Eddie sat opposite Andrea swiping and paying attention to some things on his iPad.
They did what they were doing in silence until Andrea broke the silence.

“Hey guys, don’t you think we should go to church more? Been thinking about it.” She looked from one guy to the other to be sure they were listening.

“Uhmmmm” Eddie hummed without taking his eyes off his iPad.

“Well, I do go to church so I guess I’m exempted.” Sam said. “What you need to do, dear, is to work on yourself and while you’re at it, you might wanna work on the scientist here too. You know they tend to be atheists.”

“You know, he’s right.” Eddie said before Andrea could reply Sam. He kept on swiping on his iPad.

“Really, Eddie?” Andrea asked with an incredulous look on her face. “You no longer believe in God?”

“Not really that.” Eddie replied. “I know there’s a God, but I tend to swing towards Darwinism?”

“Darwinism?” Andrea asked, now confused. “What the hell is Darwinism? Sounds like something you’ll hear in one of these sci-fi movies.”

“I told you, didn’t I?” Sam smirked. “Scientists and their silly, unfounded claims.”

“Eddie, please, explain what you mean by Darwinism.” Andrea prompted.

“Easy.” Eddie replied with a straight face. “Charles Darwin, in the nineteenth century propounded a theory that all life forms as we have it now are a product of Evolution.”

“Wait! That stuff about humans evolving from monkeys, right?” Andrea asked.

“Apes. Exactly!” Eddie replied with a smile. “I’ve always known you got the smarts in abundance.”

“Well I don’t believe such hogwash. There’s no way I’m gonna accept the fact that my ancestors were monkeys, Eddie.” Andrea fired.

“Calm down, baby. I understand your apprehension but let me finish. See, I was taught that in science when I was a little kid…”

Sam just laughed quietly to himself and kept on concentrating on his laptop.

“…and although it really sounded interesting, I found it hard to believe too.” Eddie continued speaking as he kept swiping on his iPad.
“Truth was that I never believed even though I studied and read wide about it to pass in flying colours. I never believed it for a minute.”

“Okay…” Andrea replied slowly. She was now fully interested. “And when did all that change. When did you start believing in this Darwin guy and his silly theory?”

“I believed completely in Darwin’s theory and became a Darwinian when … I first met him.” He mouthed the words and nodded in Sam’s direction. He got up to sit beside Andrea and he handed his iPad over to Andrea and said “Look at that Ape-Man when you count two from the chimpanzee. Don’t know about you but I don’t spot a difference.” He said quietly to Andrea.
She was suddenly wide-eyed and she used her hands to cover her mouth as she looked at Sam and suddenly burst out in wild laughter.

Sam caught the look.

“What? What?” He asked. “What’s funny? What’s the big joke?”

“Nothing, dear.” Andrea replied as she kept laughing uncontrollably. “Eddie’s just being a complete ass.”

“Well he’s a natural at that.” Sam muttered under his breath. “I know he said something stupid about me and it’s a good thing you guys kept it between yourselves.”

“And what if you heard, Sam, what would you have done? Beaten the shit out of me?”

“I’m seriously considering it.” Sam replied as he rose to his full height while sending a menacing look at Eddie.

“Really?” Eddie stood too facing Sam. “Okay then, let’s see you try.”

Andrea got up and stood between them both.
“You guys should stop it!” She screamed. “Do you two always have to act like little kids? Can’t we just have some laughs at each other’s expense without drawing swords? I’m sick and tired of all these.”

Eddie visibly calmed,picked up his iPad and went back to his seat.
“There’s always a solution to every problem.” Eddie said to no one in particular. “I’m done with all these monkey business anyway.”
He picked up the TV remote as he clicked on the power button. He also powered on the DSTV decoder and waited for it to come on.

Andrea almost laughed when Eddie got to the “monkey business” part but she had to restrain herself with all her self-will. Eddie really had an acerbic wit and a nasty tongue and she wasn’t ready to rile Sam so she sat down and got back to her nail filing.

Sam sat down with a hiss and got back to what he was doing on his laptop.

After waiting for what always seemed like forever, the DSTV came on and Eddie put it on Cartoon Network.

“You’re kidding me, right? Andrea asked with an amused look on her face.

“Depends on how you see it, dear.” Eddie responded with a charming smile.

“Sunday morning, three adults are seated here and you chose to watch cartoons, Eddie? Like really?” Andrea went on.

She stole a quick glance at Sam and though it was hard to tell what could have been going on beneath that poker-face,she wasn’t fooled. She was certain he would be seething inside.”

“Right on cue, Ben Tennyson!!!” Eddie exclaimed in excitement. “Sorry Andy love, but it so happens I love this guy and when better to watch cartoons than Sunday mornings? It gives it this…erm…divine feel.”

Andrea simply rolled her eyes as Eddie sat back to enjoy the programme.
After a couple of minutes, Sam put down his laptop and headed for the kitchen but not before firing a menacing look at the back of Eddie’s head.

“Really, Eddie, isn’t there something else to watch on TV?” Andrea asked some minutes after Sam left.

“This will do just fine, babe.” Eddie replied still staring at the large TV screen.

“I seriously think you should change the channel, Eddie. We aint kids here, you know?”

“Hmmm… You and kids sha. Speaking of ‘Kids,’ babe, when are we gonna start having them?” Eddie had his eyes off the TV screen and focused on hers.

“Huh?” Was all Andrea could manage. She couldn’t believe her ears.

“You know what I’m talking about,sweetheart?” Eddie pressed on. “I would love to have kids by you and kids will bring some life and excitement to this place. You should be excited by this too. Having all those cute little me and you’s running around the place… Think about it.”

Andrea had her mouth wide open for she didn’t know what to say. Then she looked up and she suddenly turned white. For there was Sam standing there sipping what she could tell was coffee from a mug. She was sure he had heard all what had been said because he had this look of keen interest trained on her.


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