I was having a chat with this lovely babe today. On her BBM,the DP read these words… “YES,I’M SINGLE but you’re gonna have to be amazing to change that.”
I gotta admit I was a bit taken aback.
Truth is,Marriage is the best institution that God has given to Man and he holds it sacred but thanks to our mindset in this part of the world,it has become hugely overrated.
When God created Marriage,the concept was that 2 people (a man and a woman!) come together to swear an ALLEGIANCE OF COMPANIONSHIP FOR LIFE.
That was the CORE purpose. He didn’t want any man to be alone.
But what do we do in this part of the world? We turn it all around!
If you ain’t married at a particular age,especially if you’ve attained a measure of success,then there’s something most definitely wrong with you.
They believe that Marriage is the only tenable precursor to Sex and the only honourable way to Procreation.
They draw a chart for your life that goes thus: School —-> Job —-> Marriage—-> Children—-> Your Life begins.
Let’s not forget your mum has to see her grand-kids before she passes on.
While this is sweet and commendable,when did marriage become all that sentimental circus? The bitter truth is that having kids on time SHOULD NEVER BE the reason to get married.
Let’s not delude ourselves,cockroaches and rats have sex and make babies. Big deal!
Marriage was divinely packaged to be so much more than all that.
The idea is to look for a ‘Companion’ when you’re old and mature enough not just a mind-blowing bed-mate or a by-the-book housekeeper or even a baby-making breeder.
The key component is to find someone whose Vision aligns with yours not just someone whose beauty or figure turns every maggot in your tummy into butterflies. It has to be someone who you both can share your ideal,your goals,your love and basically everything together. Someone that is able to take responsibility for whatever he/she brings to the relationship. The person must be for all intent and purpose your best friend. Someone you can grow together.
The 1st woman was made from the ribs of man so a couple must complete one another. Amazing,isn’t it?
Apart from Love and other physical preferences which is commendable,the two of you must be going in the same direction. There must be a synergy of vision.
Many years ago,my pastor in church declared that VISION is more important in a union than Love. My Mills & Boon and Harlequin romance infested mind (you would be surprised what boredom can do to a young man waiting for JAMB result to come out) couldn’t accept that sacrilege. But now,I’m a lot older and wiser years so I agree with that statement… Fully.
Afterall,can 2 work together unless they agree? Big ‘N’ & a little ‘o’
Truth is that you’re unique and you have to see yourself that way.
You have to believe in yourself,trust in God & not sell yourself short. You can never wait too long to have a companion that you’ll be together through life.
I strongly agree with the message I stated above. I’m not saying you should make unnecessary or unrealistic demands,I’m saying if that person doesn’t have what it takes to synergize your vision with his/hers… Then keep growing on your own.
Don’t be pressured into dating someone out of your league cos your proverbial sun is setting.
I don’t know why,but I believe that Marriage is BOTH a means and an end.
“I dedicate this post to ‘this lovely babe’ IDORENYIN ESSIEN (IDEE-GIRL) … You inspired this and I can’t wait to see that Amazing dude.”
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