Lol!!! I’m really laughing out loud as I’m writing this. Men!!! Some people won’t kill person in this Lagos sha.
Choi! Yoruba girls ehn… I tire o. They just know how to fall one’s hands. So many funny things about them but not today. I just wanna write about something that I witnessed some moments ago.
So I decided to take a break from work to go take a drink at a shop nearby. My inexplicable craving for soft drinks these last 2 weeks has been well documented.
As I stepped into the shop,I saw that the Shop-attendant,a Yoruba girl,had company… The kind of Ibo boy Illbliss would be proud of. The Ibo boy was light-complexioned the way Ibo boys like to be light-complexioned. Considering the ebony darkness of the shop attendant,it was a curious sight. I ordered for my Sprite and sat down to sip the ice-cold liquid. I really wanted to mind my business as I already know where these kinds of association end up so I tried so hard not to pay attention to what they were saying which was about who was better at what language. Then the Yoruba girl said she was learning to speak Igbo so the Ibo dude decided to put her through an Ndigbo-style spelling bee.
I did all I could to keep a straight face all through but the moment I could take it no longer,I paid up,stepped out and burst into laughter.
This was the conversation I picked up that sent me reeling with laughter…
Yoruba girl: …honestly,I’m learning your language.
Ibo boy: okay. Should I try you with some ibo words to spell?
Yoruba girl: oya naa.
Ibo boy: oya,spell ARUCHUKWU
(The girl wrote on a piece of paper and wanted to hand it over to the dude)
Ibo Boy: No! No! Spell it out let me hear. (Maybe the scope man no fit read)
Yoruba girl: okay… R-U… (Thank God I didn’t have the drink in my mouth,I would have choked on it)
(She realised her error,perhaps cos of the look on Ibo Boy’s face)
Sorry,sorry! Let me start again… A-R-U-S-U
Ibo Boy: (cuts in) Wait wait… Can u start again?
(Trust your guy naa,I kept a straight face while paying attention to a diamond in my drink)
Yoruba girl: A-R-U-S-U…
Ibo Boy: (cuts in again). Wait first. Spell ‘UCHE.’
Yoruba girl: U-C-H-E
Ibo boy: Ehen! The ‘CH’ in ARUCHUKWU and UCHE are the same naa.
Yoruba girl: Oh that! it’s true sef. a-ru-CH-ukwu. From Chukwu-Chuks. Okay,let me spell it again. A-R-U-C-H-U-K-U.
Ibo Boy: It’s K-W-U at the end naa… Oya spell ‘EBERE’
Yoruba Girl: A-B…
C-D nii!!! By this time,I was no longer interested in the drink. I just wanted to step out and release the storm that was gathering in my belly. I had tears in my eyes with laughter ehn…
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